traumatised by Social Services

I feel traumatised by social services. I have been through bad domestic violence but actually I don't feel anything about that, it was sporadic and I got him out my life pretty quickly. I am a positive person who seeshim for what he is and just wanted him out my life so I could mive on. What I am traumatised about is social services. The social workers have been incompetent, horrible, rude, insensitive, liars. One even sided with my ex and said he was acting in self defence!!!!! (I had a smashed cheekbone). Meetings were constantly cancelled, some whilst we were sitting in them waiting for the SW to turn up. Because I then didn't go to a meeting my kids were put on a plan for neglect!! I have complained (6 months ago) and this is still being investigated but so far it looks like my complaint is being upheld.

I have been suspended on full pay from work for 3 months, have been back now for about 9 months and was told I should never have been suspended. Why I was suspended? I don't know, for being a victim of DV??? My work was never affected, no-one knew until the SW told me I had to tell my manager and start budgeting for being out of work!!!!

I told 2 people intimate details of the DV, the police and women's aid. However social care were told by the police and then my life was an open book. My mum was summoned to the SS office and told details, my schools head master knew the details, and all the teachers including the TA's. My bosses at work, even in my new job which I started 6 months ago I had to go to my boss who told me she knew everything. I feel hatred towards my self, I never did before but I feel like everyone is talking about me. I feel betrayed, misled and like my life is over. I am finding it imossible to move on. SC told me my baby would be taken off me because I had let DV happen.

How do agencies expect women to report DV, I soooo wish I hadn't because I have had no support at all (apart from offers of counselling, I think it's him that needs counselling not me). All I have had is a hellish time. My kids have been taken out of class to be weighed and questioned. Why I asked, it's routine to every child on a plan, I was told. In the end I refused for the sw to visit them at school as they were complaining that they dont like being taken out of class. Of course I was criticised for this at the review meeting, sc don't believe women can put their own kids interests at heart.  Even though there were no concerns from anyone about them, they are amazing, social, intelligent, kids consistently with 98-100 percent school attendence, hobbies etc.....

The SS case is now completely closed. I have made complaints but they just cover their own backs. Only now it is being investigated by an independent investigator I have some hope by what she has told me she has found (ie no evidence of neglect)

So that complaint is being resolved, but now I want to tackle work. I want an apology, reimbursed for extra pay I could have got ( I was only suspended on basic pay) and for my records to be changed to show they were wrong. How can I go about this? I have already contacted my union rep and we are going to meet.

I want agencies to realise that the way they go about DV and women is so wrong. Yes kids should not grow up in abusive households but surely having incompetent SW's and telling everyone confidential information which pushes down the woman's self esteem is not the way to help families.

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