New beginning
Hello every one, this is my first time on this site and i mainly joined as i saw the parenting teenagers! I have two daughters aged 13 and 15, brought them up on my own and last week ended up ringing parentline twice for support. Am looking to improve my social life as i have put so much effort ensuring they both have money for their activities and friends I have neglected myself. I am currently working part time and found the transition quite hard from not working to working and juggling every thing. Love to hear from other parents in similar circumstances.
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Hello suzziesuze
You are very welcome here and yes we have ecperience of teenagers!! why don't you put a post in the teenagers section here?
I do agree with you that we can tend to put all our time and energy into the children and all their interests (as well as work outside the home) and then as they gain more independence we can be left thinking "hey, what happened? I gave up all my life and you are just off with your friends the whole time and you don't seem to have any gratitude, let alone respect. And what about ME in all this?" Time to re-juggle things maybe?
Hi suzziesuze, glad you found us! You were up very early this morning!
You mention that you rang parentline twice, did it help, are you still having the same issues?
I have a 16 year old daughter and I often count my blessings that she doesn't have a sister!
Do your get along well?
What job do you do? I remember going back to work after volunteering for a while and remember the anxiety and worry of whether I am going to be able to hold everything together, but you do and for me I got a real sense of achievement!
Any plans for improving your social life? Dancing, swimming, reading??
Hi Louise ty for the warm welcome to the site, am looking forward to this new experience. Yes, its so strange how fast they grow and sometimes i cant believe my girls are both teenagers. I will definitely try the teenager forum. I have also got in touch with gingerbread to get involved with the friendship group and found a site called city socialising.
Welcome any ideas you have its nice to hear genuine empathy and understanding.
Suzziesuze
Hi Anna
Yes i was up early i think i got too engrossed in research and trying to find local support groups in nottingham.
I found parentline very good and didnt realise the 080 number is free from mobiles. I was so hett up wiv my daughter's selfishness and was angry too and it was good to talk to someone neutral. Its so hard to not get emotional when you are in situations. My problem is setting firm boundaries and also i hate nagging. The issues are improving which is for the girls to help me with jobs around the home. They do not get on and there is jealousy and sibling rivalry, not easy.
My job is completely not what i expected to be doing and i am having to start at the bottom which is quite hard when you are over 40! I am working in a computer shop and have no experience or knowledge, so have to try and research and read up wen i find the time.
Yes the socialising side of things well i recognise i need to increase my social circle and get out more although my confidence is not there.
I have looked at local group run by gingerbread and also found a site called city socialising but you do have to pay! I have started swimming wiv my daughter and thats all for now. Any ideas you have please let me know.
May be you can tell me about yourself and how long you have used the site.
Suzziesuze
Hi suzziesuze
You sound as if you are doing loads of positive things, with the job and the swimming and researching what is what. Parenting teenagers is never easy but I think it is even harder on your own, if you do not have another adult to back you up.
Anna and I are Moderators on the board and we also help members with helpful links and parenting input. We both started more or less as the board started in 2008 and we both have lots of experience of single parenthood ourselves, my boys are 22 and 17 now so I am evidence that you can survive having teenagers!
Most of the social things you can do will involve some sort of payment and you will need to look out for special offers and trial periods etc. You could also look at Spice, for activities, also it is worth considering just exrending your circle in general, whether people are single parents or not....as then you get invited to parties and weddings and meet lots of OTHER people!!! Have a look at our article Making New Friends for some tips.
Your confidence will increase with time and practice (honest!)
How many hours are you working at the moment?
Hi Louise
Yes thank you i will have a look for some inspiration with that article.
I joined in the hopes of meeting similar parents in my area. I work part time at the moment mon, weds and fri.
I will look at Spice but have a feeling it may be outside my budget!
Will try the ideas you have given me for now. Am grateful for the support.
Suzziesuze
Hi Suzziesuze
Great to see you here.
Teens can be challenging, can't they? I've come to the conclusion that they can be incredibly selfish - but don't necessarily know they're doing it.
I know what you mean about trying to get your life back. I keep having false starts. I'm off to see a friend who's staying in a caravan about an hour up the road this afternoon. I'm looking at the clock and I know that a number of things can happen in the next four hours to stop me going...
Hi suzziesuze
Have just come across a site called MeetUps, you type in your area and it shows you sub groups locally, such as interest groups and activities, have not used it myself but worth a look?
Hi Suzziesuze,
I'm new on here too so just wanted to say hello.
I can relate to what you have said about neglecting yourself, I have done exactly the same thing with my children! I also lost a few "so-called" friends when I got divorced.
I have been bringing up my children on my own for so long now, that I sometimes think I am so used to being on my own. My children are also used to having me around and having my attention. My ex-husband hasn't seen much of them (his choice) and doesn't live nearby, so I have brought them up single-handed.
Anyway, it was meant to be a friendly post and I have just re-read it and it sounds like I am having a moan!
Hey Suzie,
I know just what you mean! Starting over isn't the easiest thing, but if you look at it as a challenge, not a problem, you'll be fine! I started studying a year and a half ago (I'm 44) and am loving it - even though it's hard.
Yes the children are a bit miffed at times, but they'll have to learn that I have to do stuff for me, too. Happy mummy = happier children.
And you are not alone - I have horrible teenagers, too! xxx
Hi Sparking lime
Yes i am finding it tough and keeping on top of things. I have researched gingerbread to go and meet other single parents at the Aboretum Park in Nottingham and I was too scared to go. Then my younger daughter told me she had nothing to wear after i have just replaced her blackberry that she lost after one week. Getting her to do me jobs round the house to earn extra money towards the phone was physically and mentally exhausting!
Today i tried to talk to them both and they accused me of lecturing them and they both kept giggling or playing with their phones. Yes i wanted to ring parentline by the end of it.
They get me so angry! And I am the most chilled person.
Dear All
Not sure if i am winning or losing. I have got them to jobs around the house but they want 20 pounds per week pocket money. What do other parents give?
I find my energy and time is spent nagging or checking on the jobs and how am I going to find time for me?
Have found meet ups and Spice is bout 12 per month which is reasonable. Just have no confidence to go, any one relate to this?
Suzziesuze
Hi suzziesuze i can relate to the confidence issue i would love to be able to join groups but just cant bring myself to go, i was so use to it being just me ,partner and kids i felt i didnt need nothing or no one else now hes left i have a big hole in my life apart from seeing to the kids and house i dont do much else. Maybe joining this site will start to stir the old me again!!!
Yes, I think separation can totally dent our confidence PLUS as trying hard points out, we are often not used to doing things on our own. Self esteem and confidence are such helpful things to have in all areas of life that it is worth time and trouble to build both up.
One thing you can (easily) do is to click on Your Learning about halfway down the right hand side of this page, and go to the Life Coaching course, which will give you some idea about goal setting etc. Mind you, I would say to do this you need to be wanting to move ahead whereas sometimes what we need to do is spend some time mourning what is gone rather than being pressurised to move on.
Teenagers, suzziesuze, now that is a whole new can of worms. Pocket money depends on your budget for one. Also it seems to me that they are thinking they want some sort of wage for chores whereas you have NO WAGE for everything you do for them. I no longer give my boy pocket money as he has a part time job but at the end of the month he gets £25 which pays his gym membership. For this he has to wash the pots every day, tidy his room, hoover the whole house once a week and wash the bathroom and toilet floors once a week too. I am working so can give him this much whereas I realise this is too much for many people.
When you are feeling strong, sit them down, all phones off or confiscated, and get two pieces of paper, one each, and on each paper you will have written their name, drawn a vertical line down the middle and on one side you will have written everything you do for them. This includes practical things like laundry, lifts and meals and financial things like provide a roof over your head, pay for your food, pay for your clothes etc. Everything. Then ask them what they do for you, and to write it on the other side of the line. There won't be much, but you could also ask them to nominate one more thing they WILL do. No money has changed hands at this point.
Then you say to them, OK you have agreed to do X but I also want you to do Y, and for Y you will be paid. Decide in advance how much. If you are working and can afford it I would think £10 was plenty....I don't mean £10 extra but to make up their weekly money to £10. Don't forget the cards are in your hands, not so much to deprive them of money, although this is a useful tactic, but to say Ok you have not played your part so sadly I am unable to play mine, and withdraw lifts/laundry or whatever. STAY CALM. If you loose your cool at all, they have "won". I am sorry that I keep going on about my favourite book but it is a lifesaver, please get it and read it cover to cover and it will shed massive light on what is going on right now for you, see it here
Great post Louise! Has anyone had a look at our Family Contract and given it a go? It had great results for myself and my daughter when she was doing absolutely nothing around the house.
My daughter gets £20 per month, just so that she is not constantly asking me for money and also knows that that is it, unless of course it is absolutely necessity. Now she is 16 she is more determined to get a job so that she can have more money. I could give her more, but feel that I never got money for nothing and nor should she.
When our children are small we can play a little with giving them 5p for doing something for us, however once they are in their teens, they need to learn that doing chores around the home is all part of living together harmoniously, not something we do as a job and therefore have the need to pay them.
Hi Anna
I feel quite bad as people were giving me advice on the other post for headfulloffog and it was not my intention.
I have gone through 3 domestic violent relationships and my last relationship only lasted 6 months. This is part of the reason I am kind of angry at myself as I recognised the red flags and kept thinking I had the knowledge and expertise to deal with it. Struggling so long on your own and having someone help and alleviate the pressure, yes that was my weakness, alongside the hope you won't end up on your own as at my age the majority of people are settled or settling down.
When i look back, it was like playing with a snake, I recognised the early signs, wanting to ring you every night at a set time. He was also quite clever in making himself indispencible and ensuring I became dependant on him. Manipulating the girls and promising to do things for them, the decorating of their rooms is a prime example.
So i guess i am feeling, not again and what can I do to improve my situation and circumstances. I thought getting out more and trying some local groups. To be honest this forum is really helping me and in the short time I have joined I have received great advice and support. Every day there is a site to try or an article to read or a group to try.
With regards the freedom courses, I thought you had to pay! I really would like to help women who go through domestic violence and got a job nearly 2 years ago at womens aid but they have not contacted me! Have tried chasing them up on numerous occasions but yes i might try volunteering when the girls go back to school.
I realise I need to build my life up again and this is not going to happen over night. I recognise a lot of my own issues, no suppprtive family near by, no supportive partner, friends finding partners and not having the time and you do feel lonely and isolated. I am hoping I can find some inner strength to give me the courage to get put and meet new people. I can't speak with my mum, we have never had a strong relationship as she didnt bring me up so the bonding is not there. She has had so much to deal with over past few years i dont want to burden her. She had to nurse and look after my dad who had bowel cancer this coincided with my brother having lymphatic cancer, this all happened 4 years ago. My dad passed a way in January and my brother died in August. Now, my sister has been diagnosed with cancer, just behind her eye and my mum is supporting her as she cant look after herself very well at the moment and she has to go for her operation on 28th which will take 11 hours, my mum told me yesterday there is a 50/50 chance. My younger brother still lives at home and he has blood clots and is on warfarin.
I also have another issue which I need to sort out. My daughter who is 15 has bullimia. She refused to go to a doctor and I am lucky as her school as supported me and also got a referral to a specialist. We did, however, miss our first appointment and this coincided with the recent relationship.
Whoops didnt intend on writing so much! Open to any views or comments.
Hi suzzisuze
"Playing with a snake", what a fantastic description...one of those cobra snakes that mesmerises you and strikes when you relax.....
We will always give some support on whatever thread you are on and also make sure the other poster is supported too, I guess you started sharing and it felt the right time to say it, that's all
Did you get another appointment for your daughter? Sounds as if it could be a good source of support for you both. You can also have a look at this site, which gives lots of info and provides details of support groups and a helpline.
You're right, it is now all about your inner strength and developing that. The finding new friends thing is a long and slow process but worth taking that time, you don't want any old friend, you want someone really great that really understands you and that you can support as well.
Hi suzziesuze
As Louise says it really doesn't matter where you post, but its great to get back in your thread as we can keep it more personal to you!
It sounds as though you are very aware of all the warning signs, all the techniques and personas of an abusive person, so you are miles ahead of many other women, whether they have been in abusive relationships or not! However it is completely understandable to be blinded as soon as someone is in front of you offering you support, empathy and really likes you!!
All Freedom Courses are free and ours online will be too! I am so excited to be getting it online, hopefully it will enlighten and empower many of our users. If you are around in the forums once the course goes live, I am sure that you will be a great support to other survivors.
We already have a topic called Freedom Programme that is in the Relationships and You discussions, I have ensured that it stays at the top of this discussion board for when the course goes online.
I think it can be so helpful to volunteer in the line of work that you maybe have the most experience in (unfortunately!) as you have so much wisdom and genuine understanding to offer.
Your extended family certainly has more than its fair share of illnesses and that can take such a huge toll on all of you.
Louise has given a great link, one of my favourite and reputable organisations is Mind, you and your daughters have been through an awful lot and it is not surprising that it has manifested itself in some way. It is now time to be looking after you 3. It can be such a wonderful thing to have girls in our lives, now is the time to seek out and find that fun.
Get in touch with the specialist again and tell us when you have another appointment please!
How is your day today? What are you up to?
Hi Louise
Yes definitely a cobra lol! One of my friends puts it so eloquently and captures the essence of domestic violence. I don't think I will ever forget. She said its like putting a frog in a pan of tepid water and gradually putting the heat up to boiling. By the time you realise what the hell is happening, you are too mentally and physically messed up to escape!
Hey ive escaped 3 times, so it is possible to get out. Yes I think I have just gone through some kind of depression similar to post natal and just beginning to feel myself again, phew!
I will definitely look at the site you suggested. My daughter has posters of all these perfect looking women such as Katie Perry, Lady Ga Ga, Cheryl Cole and I am so hacked off with the media. Why can't we have some realistic looking women for teenagers to have as role models. Lets face it, the majority of the women in the media are freaks, how many 50 year olds look like Madonna! There is always stories of them starving themselves, bullimia, anerexia, or on some fad diet or exercising to extremes. Where are the normal women please? Thank goodness for Dawn French, such a vivacious sexy woman, and Jo Brand, I cannot think of a big women or any with curves apart from may be Beyonce and Adele.
Is there any wonder we have young women with eating disorders! It gets me so angry! Aaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh
Can we have a whole post of successful normal looking women for teenagers to have as role models. As much as I like Dawn French and Jo Brand, my teenagers r so not digging it! Your wishin
Hi Anna
Had great day, it was a day of miracles. I went to work and as I have only worked there 4 weeks I get to do all the fab jobs such as taking the rubbish out, cleaning and hoovering. Hooray! Today I got a job I enjoyed, I had to sort out all the display cabinet at the front of the shop. Really cheered me up and had such fun, such fun. The best is yet to come ...
Miracle 1 - My teenagers went to school and locked the house up successfully. Admittedly, they attended at 1.10 pm, yes I know what is the point!
Miracle 2 - My 15 year old got up at 10 am and washed all the pots, wow that really happened and I wasn't dreaming
Miracle 3 - My 15 year old locked my 13 year old out of the house and managed to sort it out with out pestering me at work
Miracle 4 - My 15 year old texted me and told me where she was and what time she would be back
Miracle 5 - I came home after struggling with 3 bags of shopping to find my 13 year old had made herself some soup, told me she had washed up and would be doing the bathroom
Miracle 6 - My 13 year old interacted and spoke to
me in a civil manner and asked for my help to find her reports from year 7 and 8 which i did
Miracle 7 - My 15 year old came back from the cinema at the time she texted me
Miracle 8 - My 13 year old is setting her alarm for 7 am
Praise the Lord, a day of miracles. Life is full of surprises and to think yesterday evening, my youngest said I can't stand you mum and I can't wait to leave home. The day before my eldest daughter was also saying she hates me and can't wait to leave home.
Tomorrow, I am not at work, and hoping the builder guy comes to start putting in the double glazing. Meeting an old friend for lunch (yikes am sure that lines in Cannabal Lecter), we are going for Thai food at a pub round the corner from me.
I pray we all have miracles like mine lol
Wow suzziesuze
A day full of miracles and only another parent of teenagers can understand the enormity of that list
And a nice lunch for you today (you have put Anthony Hopkins into my head now, as well as boiled frogs!)
There aren't many larger YOUNG girls in the public eye, you have said Adele, there was that girl Josie who won Big Brother last year but she went on a mega diet when she came out lol. Ruth Jones, Charlotte Church and Kate Winslet are another three, plus Holly Willoughby.
Hope the builder turns up today and that your day goes well.
May the miracles continue!
Glad you had such a good day yesterday suzziesuze. I'm so sorry you and your family are going through so much. It's bad enough when it happens in stages, but to happen all within the same time. Hope today is another good one for you. xx
What a fabulous post suzziesuze! A day of miracles! What do you think prompted this change of heart from your girls? Was it your mood? It sounds as though you have been really pro-active recently. Is it because they want the money for the jobs? Could it be that now they are back in school and routine has set back in they are feeling more settled and secure?
It would be interesting to figure it out for future reference?!!
I hope that you praised them highly, perhaps you could have a little treat for them this evening to say how brilliant you think they are!
Hi Anna
Had the worse day yesterday. I am beginning to wonder whether my daughters are on a mission to drive me insane. I am a patient and laid back person but their inconsideration, selfishness and lazyness drove me to screaming like a mad woman.
When I am going to work and have sacrificed so much for them and yet they can do so very little and show me no respect. I asked for the washing up to be done, the washing hung out and to tidy up.
Well the washing was still on the line at 7 pm when I got in from work! But piles of washing up, asking what they have done all day, my 13 year old was laying on her bed bb on her phone that I bought her. My 15 year old was busy she said recording herself singing lady ga ga songs. Heavens above, what a life!
I am happy she has a hobby but surely she could have done something more then peg a few clothes out. I am so livid just thinking about it!
I have had to work and on my days off I have de cluttered the loft, the understairs cupboard, the kitchen cupboards and they have not helped. What have I created, they are worse then the Harry Henfield characters.
Please tell me why I have to shout and scream to get them to help me?
I am too mentally and physically exhausted to know where I am going wrong. My day of miracles so sad! Yesterday was a total nightmare!
Teens can go from angels to monsters in an instant. I would suggest you seize control back in the house and draw up a family contract. I believe this might be something we have spoekn about before, I will go and have a look for the lin...ah yes, have a look further up this thread at my post dated 5th September, that outlines some suggestions to help
My lot are ok if I'm about to "nag" them. If I'm not nothing gets done.
I had got to the point where shouting was too much effort.
The 19 year old here is the one driving me nuts (more words yesterday night, when he finally got home).
I am glad you had your miracle day though - shows that it can be done.
I hope a family contract will work.
xxx
Hope all goes well with your sister's op. Words fail me when it comes to try and say how I feel for you.
Take care.
Just read through your posts suzzisuze...I'm in a similar boat to you, working part time, just split up, over 45, no immediate family, and have a 15 year old daughter next month...I KNOW how you feel! ( The book title though really made me laugh-'Get out of my Life: But first take me and Alex into town)...
I nearly had a fit last night when my daughter actually went out to the kitchen to change a packet of crisps for another flavour AFTER she had sat down without asking me to do it for her....
I like the idea of the contract thing too, as well as the book....I'm giving her a lot of leeway at the moment because we have just recently split...
I recommend the Meetup site too...I have joined a couple of local groups, and am going to meet with one of them Saturday( weather permitting)...It is scary meeting new people, but I also met with a single Mum the other week from another local group, and we are meeting again next week...
Hah, I'm even going to the park to go jogging( which I HATE but it's getting me out the house),later with a friend....well walking briskly as my hips still hurt from Monday's 2 mile walk...
How're things with you today?
Hi suzziesuze, I am sorry to hear that your girls are driving you up the wall. First and foremost although it feels really liberating sometimes to scream your head off at them, the best solution is to talk slowly, quietly and deeply and tell them how disappointed you are in them.
This works for my girl, if I lose it, she tends to just ignore me until I'm done, if I get serious on her, I know she hates it if I tell her I am disappointed in her actions.
I have recently found that when I want my daughter to do stuff when I am at work, if I say 'at 3.30 I want you to take the dog out for a pee, then at 5pm after you have done some homework or watched telly or something, I need you to put the dark wash on'
Everything has to be clearly spelt out. Originally I was texting her at 3.30 saying 'have you taken the dog out?' and at 5pm 'have you put the dark wash on?', teehee, she got really infuriated and said that I don't have to keep checking up on her!
Perhaps incorporate this into the Family Contract, it might make your mobile bills go up for a couple of weeks whilst you are constantly texting to check up on them, but it can work!
Hiya all,
Thanks for the great support and yes the contract sounds a great idea. Sunday my 13 year old cleaned her bedroom and moved her furniture, seems a friend over influenced her. My other daughter had wiped and cleaned the kitchen.
I had gone with a friend for a massage with these new machines you lay on them like a sun bed. I then had my feet sucked by fishes for 15 minutes and finally a massage chair in the shopping centre. Great fun and definitely helped with stress. At the moment, I am just not paying them any money and am doing the chores on my days off!
My sister goes for her operation tomorrow. I really wanted to go and see her before the op but have had too many bills go through and am trying to get some help with my council tax as I earn under 16k. Got paid today and 100 straight out on money id borrowed, daughters basketball kit and school trousers for my younger daughter.
I haven't found the time to tackle the social side of things as I am still in the midst of de cluttering, over 3 weeks now as I have to tackle on my days off. Yes Mich i am so glad you are getting out and managing to even go jogging lol! I will get there, I am just real exhausted with tackling my loft, understairs cupboard and kitchen cupboards.
I really hope your sister's operation goes well tomorrow suzziesuze. xx
Good luck to your sister.
I am glad that you seem to be feeling more in control of Planet Teenager (that's what I believe our homes can turn into; that is certainly my experience anyway)
Yes, me too. Thinking of you today. xx
Hah now it's my turn to clear out the cupboards etc....I have my H coming over at 1 0'clock to sort the garage out...not looking forward to it, but it has to be done...
What are you doing today?
Good luck with that Mich. Hope things go smoothly.
Hi everyone
Its not good news with my sister and i went to see her Friday at Royal Hull Infirmary and met with my mum and 2 brothers. Took me 3 hours to get there via train, really important as we met with the neurologist. My sister has meningioma, its a benign tumour in the brain but its growth is putting pressure on the optic nerve. She was booked to go for a 9 hour operation, to remove the tumour and her eye and reconstruction needed. This was thurs 29 sept, however, her brain swelled unexpectedly and they had to get another consultant in and make a decision. They decided to remove bone to allow the brain to expand. They ceased the operation and felt it best to allow her to rest. Yesterday, we went to see her, shes in the intensive care unit and is on a ventilator. Sorry Friday, I saw her, Saturday they said they would be weaning her off the drugs and waking her up. She woke up yesterday but there was no activity or movement down her left side, they took a brain scan and put her back to sleep. We are all hoping she will wake up and be ok. Its a real tough time, especially for my mum. My sister will be 51 on the 17th October. I am staying positive and I feel confident she will pull through.
Hello suziesuze
What an awful worry for you, and your poor sister with all the possible complications that can follow. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Hope that the next time she wakes up she is able to function Ok and they can decide how to proceed next. It is just beyond words.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers.
Suziesuze, I'm so sorry to be reading your post.
Thinking of you, and really do hope things improve for you sister.
Positive thoughts and prayers from me as well.
very sorry to hear about your Sister..I too will be sending well wishes, and positive thoughts to you and her too...
We are all here for you....
Suzziesuze. Am really sorry to hear about your sister's diagnosis. Hopefully when she wakes, she'll have better movement, and then the operation can take place once the swelling goes down. Keep staying positive for you, your brothers and your Mum. Very very difficult to deal with. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. xx
Dear suzziesuze, what a worrying time for you and your family, sending you lots of positiveness.
I hope your girls are ok with the news and are being supportive. They will be feeling the worry too.
Do you have any further pampering on the agenda, perhaps for you and the girls to enjoy together?
Thinking of you....
Hi every one
Thank you for all the kind words of support, guess you all know where am at, have woke up at 4 am and despite having horlicks cant seem to rest.
Totally hectic day yesterday! I must have travelled 9 hours in one day. I went to York to support my mum and younger brother to find out from the doctor about my sister. I travelled to York via Train and then we travelled to Royal Hull Infirmary. My sister has made great progress since we saw her friday. She was awake, her heads very swollen and bruised from the operation. She is paralysed down her right side. She's come off the drugs and is still on a ventilator.
We went in a private room to speak about her progress. He said she is making steady progress but has a long way to go. He said that there are no guarantees as to whether she will make a full recovery and they do not know the effect and impact this has had on her brain. There is still a possibility she could die and he said that if they had not removed the bone to allow her brain to expand she would have died. They are hoping to take her off the ventilator today to see if she can breath on her own. They said if she cant they may have to do a trachectomy, i am praying she breaths today, with all she has been through i just dont want her to have to endure anything else.
Really hard seeing her today, i held her hand and told her that shes doing real well, every ones impressed with her progress and she has to prove to them she can breathe. My mum held her hand and she said she felt my sister grip it tighter. She moved her left foot and we teased her saying your showing off can you do it again, she did it! She moved it about 3 times, she coughed as well.
When i got to the waiting room i cried, i knew i couldnt cry in front of her. Just have to hope she can breath on her own today.
Oh suzzisuze
No wonder you can't sleep, what a distressing and awful situation. I know only too well that "don't cry in front of them" feeing, your chest hurts and you hardly trust yourself to speak. It was a long day for you yesterday and you will be worn out.
Hope so much that your sister will cope with coming off the ventilator. They had take action to save her life and let us hope that she can eventually make a good recovery, but it will be a long process.
So many of us will be holding you and your family in our thoughts and prayers at this dreadful time.
Thinking of you so very much.
Thinking of you suzzisuze, sending hugs and best wishes to you and your brave sisterxxxx
Hi every one,
Great news, my sister is breathing on her own and is smiling, am so relieved, has been hard couple of days. She's been moved from intensive care to high dependency unit. I am going to see her Tuesday, she cant speak yet but am sure she will just take time.
I am so grateful to all the staff looking after her, shes made such a lot of progress from her operation. My girls are not really supportive although i do understand, they haven't seen my sister very much over the years and to them she is like a stranger.
Thank you for your support during this difficult time. Its certainly opened my eyes to how fragile we are and how we moan about trivial things and when something like this happens you realise how lucky you are.
Looking forward to seeing her Tuesday.
suzziesuze, I have tears of joy streaming down my face.
I am so, so relieved and happy for your sister and you and your family.
What a frightening time you're having.
I hope she continues to improve, and I hope tomorrow comes quickly, for you to see her.
xxx
Suzziesuze that is so wonderful, I feel so very happy for you and your family