my son sleeping
hi, i was wonderin if anyone could help me i ahve a 2 year old boy and i am ahving trouble getting him to go to bed alone he crys everytime i put him in bed and leave him and makes himself sick last january it took me 3 weeks to get him into his cot and when we moved in june he was ok till august and from then he will not go to bed alone please if anyone can give me any adivce that would be great thanks x
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Hello taztara
You are welcome here and yu have my every sympathy, it is just dreadful when they will not sleep.
Now, some children just don't need much sleep but you have already seen that your son CAN sleep, as he has done for short times in the past. You mention his cot and then his bed....I am thinking that he now has a bed to sleep in? So you are saying he can cry himself sick still? I am presuming he has had health checks to make sure he does not have painful ears that hurt more when he lies down, for example?
How is it if you sit on the bed while he goes to sleep? What I am suggesting is a gradual withdrawal process, so for a couple of weeks you sit on the bed while he goes to sleep, then you put a chair very close to the bed and sit on that for a couple of weeks, then you gradually move the chair a little further away from the bed every week or so until you are sitting in the doorway...then the next week you sit in the hallway and still talk quietly to him so he knows you are there.
All the time, do not get upset if he cries and do not get cross, just talk in a very quiet voice and say things like "time to go to sleep now" and "night night darling" in a very low tone. Your aim is to be "reassuring but boring". if you are too interesting he will want to get up and play.
I know this sounds really long winded (and it is) when you must be so exhausted that you want to wave an intstant magic wand but give it a go. Have a chat with your Health Visitor as well 
Hiya. I have just responded to a post on behaviour with the 3R's technique. It is ideal for you in your situation so I thought I would comment.
Prepare for a bad week, If possible have someone else on hand who can put the kettle on when needed haha, or like me if there isnt anyway plug the kettle in on the landing.
Put him to bed. This is the 1st R request. Tuck him in give him his kiss say good night I love you what ever you usually. Then leave the room.
When he starts crying. Go back in. DO NOT pick him up. children get very confused if you keep picking them up but you are not actually taking them anywhere, they are not sure what it is you want of them. Re tuck him in etc. and leave the room. This is the 2nd R repeat.
When he crys again go back. don't pick him up but lean into the cot. use soothing tones, tell him its ok its sleep time etc, resettle him and tuck him back in. Leave the room. This is the 3rd R Reassure or Reinforce (if you were using the tecnique to tackle bad behaviour).
A child cries at bed time because they are biologically made to cry to ensure their needs are met, cause after all who can ignore a crying baby lol. What you are doing with this tecnique is showing him that his needs are going to be met, you are there for him when he needs you no matter what so there is no need to worry.
Keep repeating stage 3 as many times as needed until he finally goes to sleep. Its going to be a long night. This works for any age. I use it on my 9 month old baby and my 5 and 6 year old children who are in beds.
Night 2 you will find you don't need to go back in as many times as you did the night before, night 3 will be even better. By night 5 I would be very supprised if you have to go back in more than once. Kids catch on very quickly and once he is confident that even though he is having to sleep on his own, if he needs you, you will be there he will sleep soundly.
Sorry as with Louises post mine is fairly long winded, but I sware by the 3R's they really have changed my families lives for the better. If you want to see how to use it for behaviour during the day as I imagine your house probably has the terrible 2's in full swing, check out my comment in children s behaviour differnt ages. I hope this helps. Its hard for a few days but worth ever minute of it
xx
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