HELP: angry mother or how that would look like

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Hello, I am in  stuck. Its nearly 4 years now I trie to get alimonies.  

I live in another country and the first claim sent to the father (defendant) came  back after 6 months because the receiver told that "it is not him". I wonder if post workers in UK asks to show passport...  

I prepared another claim as situation has changed (again certificates, translations...) and the court sent second claim to the father, but .... after 6 months I was informed that there are no news.I have learned that the claim dissapeared somewhere in England and now there are no chances to find where exactly as 6 months passed... very helpful service for lonely mother who do everything on her own in order to grow up a healthy, happy child.

Strange English post: a year or two ago I sent child's letter, pictures and drawing to father's mother. I sent it as a  registered letter in a special way, the post had to inform me if the letter is delivered. Granny returned back our letter with a delivering card inside! (its important to mention that we never were married with her son and we had a short relationship, on one hand I understand her). The delivering card had to be returned back by post workers but not by the granny... but this granny is UK famous actor known worldwide, so I started to think that she could influence  the dissapearing of the claim. Sounds nuts but what to think after when you get the post document in her letter.  

Child is nearly 7 years old and started to be really interested in fathers family, asked a picture of them. I asked father to send such picture and also asked if he can help me to get J. Liedloff "the continuum concept: in search of happiness lost". He wrote "I wish you no harm but sometimes I will say no to your requests".... he gave money when child was 6 months, give 25 pounds when I had no job, on occasions he sends cards, sent some books to learn English (after I asked) and a toy this year, but he never asks about his health, luck in kindergarten, friends, interests, needs ... I am patient and very good willing as I didnt have father and he told he has had 3 child, but after this second claim... and I have learned that non-resident father has to pay even he has 3 children...  

I started to wish to write to English newspaper telling a story about famous granny who is known in England as a wonderful mother,granny and also about this super English post (as after 6 months I cant complain about the post to anyone). what do you think, would it be very not nice as this disappearing of the claim and fraze "I wish you no harm".... but unwillingness to help already started to make me sick as I feel the claim might never reach him and I dont have money for advocate any more as I even still cant afford to buy a bed.  

Posted on: October 7, 2011 - 12:47pm

Hello Bee. Sorry to hear you've been unsuccessful regarding the posting of things. The father, unfortunately you cannot make him do anything. If he seems disinterested in your child, you cannot make him become interested. This of course is extremely sad for you and your child. As for his Mum, she may be famous etc, but even she cannot make her son become involved with his child. I don't think this is an issue for her.

Posted on: October 7, 2011 - 1:00pm
Parenting specialist

Hello Bee

You have clearly done your best to try and get support for your child and for him to know his father and father's family, but they have not wanted to help you. Sadly, without legal action you are not going to be able to go any further.

If you wish to contact an English newspaper about the way you have been treated by this man and his mother then that is your choice.

In the meantime, do look after yourself and your boy!

Posted on: October 7, 2011 - 1:27pm

Yes I understand, but after experiencing all of this I started not to believe in a good side of child's father and started to have a wish to show the others the other side of them both. such feelings are new to me and I have found that there is something new I have to cope with. AM I guilty that I grow up a child, that I loved him and that I am against abortion?

If they would be people who do not present themselves as a hearty people, I wouldnt have such a wish. I want others to know that they are not hearty. and yes, to complain about UK post at least in a newspaper. Never thought I would be wishing to do such things. 

Posted on: October 7, 2011 - 1:31pm

Thank you Louise, yes I have to look after both of us. Good we live near the park and the forest - that is a cheep way of spending good time.  I also hope to do dance therapy this month one time as I see that  my spirit and body is very down. Wishing you the best2.


Posted on: October 7, 2011 - 1:36pm

Very sad story Bee, I hope you find someone who can help you and make you and your son happy! Some people are heartless and don't care about their children... :(

Posted on: January 27, 2012 - 12:50am