My Journey - from Chile to England

It’s September 11th 1973, Chile’s government is overthrown by Augusto José Ramón Pinochet Ugarte in a US backed military coup.  Salvador Allende’s democratically elected government is put to an end! 

In December 1974, the military junta appointed Pinochet as President by a joint decree, with which Air Force General Gustavo Leigh disagreed, together with the majority of its Air Force officers, my father being one of them! 

On January 5th 1974, to my mother’s horror, my father disappeared and was tortured together with 30,000 others that opposed Pinochet’s regime.  From the beginning, Pinochet’s government implemented harsh measures against its political opponents! 

Whilst pregnant with me, my mother suffered terribly after his disappearance, visiting morgues to see if any of the bodies found was my fathers.  Through the extreme stress of it all my mother was paralysed down the left side of her body.  Thankfully some 50 or so days following my fathers’ disappearance, to my mothers relief, he was sighted and she was informed that he was being held at a prison where he was held until January 1976 as a political prisoner, when prisoners were then given the option to continue in prison forever or leave the country for good!

August 1974, I was born by emergency caesarean section in a specialist clinic paid for by the Red Cross due to the upheaval Mum had encountered during my fathers disappearance (no NHS like here in the UK, everything has to be paid for, whether you’re rich or poor).   As a baby and toddler I would visit my father in prison, I can remember I was one of the only children to be allowed beyond the visiting rooms and into the prison. 

On 6th January 1976, my father was released as a political prisoner and we were exiled to the UK, along with thousands of others, we were now political refugees!  We left all of our family behind to start a new life on the other side of the world!  The toughest thing anyone could ever be asked to do.

On arrival to the UK we lived in huge mansions alongside many other refugees waiting to be integrated into the UK and housed.  It only took me a couple of months to pick up English - a lot quicker than my parents.  I can remember having to translate for them at the age of 2 years old.  Pretty amazing really considering it wasn’t my first language! 

We were helped quite a bit by the Red Cross yet again and by several Labour politicians.  I can remember playing with Helen Jackson and other politician’s children who were very warm with us. 

Our first home was in Bradford were we lived amongst a huge Asian community, who were very kind to us and made us feel extremely welcome, probably because of the cultural similarities.  

From Bradford we moved to Sheffield where there was a massive Chilean community and everyone was very tight, like family, these Chileans became my aunties, uncles and cousins, it was great.  We lived in several parts of Sheffield, the best was Mosborough where we lived by a huge forest and farms.  They were the best years of ever, we would spend most of our time in the forest making dens, having adventures and being kids, I loved it. 

Then we got our first council house, before this point we had rented homes.  We were given a house in Shiregreen!  It seemed pleasant at first; I made a quite a few friends in my street.  It was not until I started at the local school, literally across the road from my new home, when I first encountered RACISM.  Wow, it was shocking, for the first time I realised I was different, I hadn’t felt different before this point.  The way I saw it was that we are all the same.  Not the kids at school, they called me Nigger, Paki all sorts.

I was 6 yrs old and I was very confused. 

The girls were especially mean, so I hung around with the boys who were more welcoming.  That’s when my collection of cars grew.  I’d get pushed out of the dinner queue every day, I hated it.  I’d tell the teachers but they wouldn’t ever do anything.  I think this was a major part of my life where I learned to be completely independent, I learnt not to trust anyone and to always watch my back.

In 1983 we moved to Southmead in Bristol, you wouldn’t believe how refreshing it was, it took me some time to adjust to the Bristolian accent but I liked it.  It was warming.  When I started school everyone made me feel so welcome and special. 

I can remember standing at the front in assembly as I was introduced by the Welsh Head Teacher, Mr Oates.  He made me talk about myself and where I was born and where I had just moved from. 

It was funny, one girl said “where’s Chile is that up North?” 

They even dedicated an assembly to me, I brought in Latin American instruments, Latin music, ponchos, maps the lot and everyone was so intrigued and interested in learning more about me.  I was so happy to be in this new city.  I felt part of the community again, not like an outsider.  

It wasn’t a terrible thing being a political refugee; I didn’t have to feel like I should be grateful for being here in the UK.  Even though I knew I was different, because of my culture, language, facial features, traditions etc I loved being different for the first time in my life. 

For the first time I completely embraced who I was and where I was from.  I became proud of being Chilean.   This is a strength that I have instilled into my children. 

Be an individual; be a leader not a follower.

Be proud of being different and unique.

Always follow your own path.

Never have any expectations of anyone else.

Its boring to be a carbon copy of everyone else, be the best possible version of yourself!

I can remember being very independent throughout senior school, college and university.  I was a driven individual, striving to be the best that I could be in anything.  It was during university that I realised that I was a beautiful young Latin woman.

London was an ideal place for me to grow in this way due to there being such diversity in cultures, languages and dances within the city.  I loved my ethnic origin.  It gave me a great strength, I felt powerful.   My life experiences and of course from my parents’ advice made me this way.  I sometimes think I am too independent! 

I have had dysfunctional relationships that didn’t last.  I found myself having relationships with men that needed me to pull them along.  I was their support system.  I have realised that even though my life experiences had its positive influences, it also had a considerable amount of negative influences.  These have transpired over the years and I have managed to highlight them and eliminate them.  Unfortunately, they included having very low self esteem and low self worth and insecurities, where I allowed myself to tolerate too much abuse from certain individuals. 

I am so lucky that I can say “I’m on the other side of that now”. 

I am a single parent of two wonderful children and my unit feels complete!  I run my own businesses, where I make money doing the things that I love and have great passion for.  I love my life and wouldn’t change it for the world.

         I am Carol Verdugo-Gonzalez and I am a Chilean Political Refugee!