Top tips for when your child is away

Your children are away, now you can play! Things to do, other than the housework and twiddling your thumbs, for those weekend visits or holidays when you are child free.

  • Eat the type of food that you enjoy but don’t normally bother to cook when the children are around (for me that means hot curry...hmmm!) 
  • Stay in touch with your feelings. In particular allow yourself to feel sad. What you are feeling is understandable, natural and will pass more quickly if you let it out rather than trying to stifle it. 
  • Fill your days with different types of experiences. Write ‘to do’ lists, if it helps, and ensure that amongst the work and practical things you might want to get done while the kids are away, you also have treats (A hair-cut? A massage? A swim?) 
  • Test yourself (positively) by trying something new and unusual: Horse riding? Climbing? Join an archeological dig? (It’ll give you something to share with the kids when they get back.) 
  • Reconnect with people you’ve lost touch with or haven’t seen in a while. (Why not join Facebook or Friends Reunited if you haven’t already?) 
  • Join an on-line community such as this one at One Space (- start your own ‘blog’ if you haven’t already got one), and chat on-line with other single parents who are going through the same thing. 
  • Keep a diary. 
  • Check out the Netmums Making Mum’s Happy Programme It’s free and it will make you appreciate all the good things in your life! 
  • This is your holiday/weekend too. Whatever else you do, recharge your batteries so that you are happier, healthier and calmer by the time your children come back.

One Space is hosting a discussion about holidays/weekends without your children. If you want to share your own ideas or have a chat, pop over to Children going on holiday with your ex.

If you are feeling uneasy about the situation have a read of When your children go on access visits or holidays with your ex, it will give you some things to think about before they go.

Useful Links:

http://www.kateandemily.com/node/63 this site is great for up beat advice on single parenting generally and this article on weekends without your kids is just as relevant to holidays.

For specific holiday advice from parenting expert Chrisitine McGhee. You can download her free book here with more general advice entitled ‘Separation and Divorce – Helping children’ written on behalf of ‘Resolution’ the Family Law Association.