Self Confidence

If your life has not turned out as you expected or if you have experienced difficulties, then this can knock your self confidence.

Self confidence is a term used to describe how secure a person is in their own decisions and actions, for some people, especially single parents, this can be difficult.

Things like the end of a relationship, living on a low income, becoming a single parent or experiencing domestic abuse can affect confidence. Some people have suffered from low confidence since they were children.

The good news is that confidence is like a muscle; with time, patience and practice it can be rebuilt or developed. Building your confidence will also be good example for your children.

Am I lacking in self confidence? 

• Do you often think that your actions or decisions will not work out?
• Are you self-conscious when someone is watching you do something? 
• Do you worry what others might think should you make a mistake? 
• Do you have a habit of criticising yourself when you are doing a task? 
• Do small mistakes upset you; can they seem bigger than they really are? 

Here are some simple definitions of what it means to be confident;

• A belief in yourself and your abilities.
• An attitude of trusting or relying on yourself.
• Freedom from doubt.
• Trust in one self.
• Feeling certain.
• Faith in one's own abilities. 

Tips for developing self confidence.

• Write a list of things that you like about yourself and things that you are good at (if you struggle to do this ask a good friend). 
• Learn something new, do a short course in something you enjoy.
• Stand up straight and smile.
• Don’t try to please everyone – say NO sometimes.
• Focus on what you have achieved; for example being a good parent, remember that looking after a family alone is quite an achievement! 
• Spend time with positive, confident people and notice how they behave.
• Don’t compare yourself to others – be yourself and be proud.
• When you do something new be prepared and plan so that it is easier.
• Take small steps to achieve big goals.
• Speak well of yourself, and don’t put yourself down.
• Learn how to take and give compliments, try doing this with your children! 

Find out if there are any Confidence Building courses in your area, ask at the library or your local council.