Becoming a single parent - Case Study

Who are you?

I am a male single parent with four daughters aged from 6 to 12 years. It has been a struggle dealing with the aftermath of my marriage breakdown but we are all settling down now.

Were you working?

I had to give up my job as a manager of a local garage as I worked six days a week and then had to make a claim for income support. This proved to be a bit of a problem and they made me claim Job Seekers Allowance for about 4 months whilst they sorted everything out. Because my wife continued to claim child benefit and child tax credits, we had to rely on handouts from social services until these could be transferred into my name.

Where did you live?

My children had been placed on the social services supervision list and they kept visiting us to make sure we were doing OK and were very supportive and helpful. They found us clothes and food and helped smooth the transition from being homeless, staying in bed and breakfast rooms, into interim accommodation and to our own tenancy. They offered to help clear the rent arrears which my wife had built up, even though I no longer lived in the home, so that me and the kids could be awarded a new council house.

All in all, you hear some dismal stories about social workers, but they were very good to us. They helped me get a Community Care Grant to buy essentials for our new home as my ex wife had just abandoned our possessions and the council threw away everything she left behind including the kids clothes and toys.

How did you cope?

They put me in touch with a local lone parent charity that helped me with many things including sorting out the rent arrears and other debt which she had left me with. The main thing they did was help me to apply for Disability Living Allowance (DLA) for one of my daughters. She has always had learning difficulties and I am unsure if my wife never knew she could or just couldn’t be bothered to apply for DLA. The workers at the charity helped me fill in the form and we now receive the higher rate component and Carers Allowance. This has made a tremendous difference to our family income as well as to my daughter’s quality of life.

What's next?

Just reading that people in similar positions as me is a great comfort and I am going to complete One Space's Assertiveness Course shortly. I never realized my self esteem had dropped so much – holding a managerial job was easy-peasy compared to the role of being sole carer of 4 daughters!

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