Sometimes when a family separates children feel they are to blame and that they are unlikeable and that is why one parent has left the home.  Reassure him that it is not his fault and that both of you still love him.  Encourage him to invite a friend home, or if he is uncomfortable with that, you could ask a school friend to come to the park with you.  Talk to his teacher, a class is a big place and the teacher might be able to have your child work with someone who he can get on with.  Talk to other mums at the school gates, if he sees you socialising, he may join in.  Try not to let your son know you are anxious about it, so he doesn’t feel he is disappointing you.  Tell him about his positive attributes and let him know that you think he is a great.

There is some useful information on www.kidscape.org.uk that you could discuss with your son. 

My daughter really misbehaves after her fortnightly visit to her father

This is very common problem among parents who have separated.  A child has to learn to behave differently when in the company of their different parents, your rules might not be their rules, you might discipline her for things that your ex partner doesn’t.  Stick by what you believe in and how you expect her to behave when she is with you, she needs your consistency and to know that however she behaves you still love her.  Be honest with her about how her behaviour makes you feel. 

My boys are always shouting and screaming at me, we have no peace in our house

Often when we first separate from our partners we are emotionally confused and often our parenting suffers for it.  We might find ourselves shouting and screaming at them, we are their main role models, therefore are they copying us?  Try and spend some family quality time, lay down some family rules, try a parenting course, once we find some peace within ourselves, we can deal with our children with calmness and patience, which in turn can rub off on them.  

My daughter wants her boyfriend to sleep over, should I let her?

Legally your daughter is allowed to be having sex at 16, what you need to decide is if you are happy for this to happen under your roof.  If you don’t allow it, will she just stay at her boyfriend’s?  How does this make you feel?  Have you had the discussion about safe sex?  Do you feel she is being sensible?  How long have you known the boyfriend? There are many factors to consider, only you can make that decision, you make the rules about what goes on in your house and you must do what you are comfortable with.  Don’t over-react as the most important thing is that your daughter feels she can talk to you.  Discuss your fears with her and perhaps make a family contract regarding what rules must be abided by.  You could try and write a list of pro and cons to get a clearer picture of how you feel about it.  If she wants any further information show her www.ruthinking.co.uk and leave her alone with it for a while, it is an excellent website for teenagers about sexual relationships. 

My son has got into a bad crowd and I think he is doing drugs

www.talktofrank.com is an excellent website for teens and parents alike.  Read up about drugs yourself so that you know what you are talking about.  See if you can get to some spend some quality time with him so you keep your relationship going and have opportunities to discuss things with him.  Get to know his friends and encourage them to come round – they may not be as ‘bad’ as you think. 

How much pocket money do I give my 10 year old?