The Clingy Child

Suggestions for handling the clingy child.

Our children cling to us for all sorts of reasons and often as a single parent, we feel we need to prove to the world that we are able to raise self confident children not ones that cling to our legs and hide behind us!

So when they scream their heads off, if we turn to leave the room, or wrap themselves around our necks so tight that we can hardly breathe, we are tempted to push them away and leave without a backward glance and hope that they will settle down eventually. 


This breaks our child’s trust in us, and the situation will repeat itself every time we need leave them somewhere.

It is not necessarily that they are so attached to us that they can’t bear to let us go, it is much more likely that they are wary of the new situation and just need a bit of time to acclimatise. They might be feeling insecure or anxious about being in a new place, or they may find it too noisy and just unfamiliar. So naturally they just want to be in their safety zone (our arms)!

  • A fear of strangers is completely natural 
  • They don’t have the words to explain to us how they are feeling 
  • Make amiable conversation with the carer. You child will see that you like and trust them and will follow suit. 
  • Hold them firmly at arms reach and look warmly into their eyes, they can then see that you are there and you still love them, but it gives them a chance to glance around at their surroundings. 
  • Tell them at breakfast (or lunch) what is going to happen that day, that they are going to nursery, they are going to play while mummy goes shopping, they are going to make new friends, have a biscuit and juice and then mummy will come and pick them up and take them home to watch their favourite DVD. 
  • Cling to them – say ‘I will never, ever let you go’ this can get them laughing and trying to squirm out of your reach! 


It can be gut wrenching, but don’t let them see that their nervousness is upsetting you.

It is completely natural for a small child to feel uncertain of the unknown and if they see that we are confident that they will be safe and all is ok, they will trust the situation too. (It may well take a couple of attempts, but their confidence will grow).

Always say goodbye to them, see you soon, have fun (and expect them to)!!